Am I Really Pure As Snow?

Am I Really Pure As Snow?

"My marriage broke up through no fault of my own."

I was very interested in this statement.

Twenty years ago, my marriage broke up after my husband had
several affairs. I prayed nightly for nothing and no-one to
come between us. After my husband left, he said he knew he
would have to be the one to go because I was committed
regardless. Actually it was the fear of failure and
loneliness that kept me bound as a martyr. It hurt my pride
that someone else could make him happier than I could.

After the breakup, I committed my life to the Lord in a deeper
way. I was praying (probably complaining to the Lord) about
my husband's infidelity. The Lord told me, lovingly but
firmly,  that my mistrust and jealousy (He named several other
negative characteristics of mine) were as much sin to Him as
my husband's infidelity. "Sin is sin!" He said.  It made it
very easy to forgive my husband after I examined my
contribution to the situation.

A friend recently said that she had never heard me say
anything negative about my ex-husband. I'm glad because we
had good times as well as bad times. When he left, I lost my
best friend. We seldom  contact each other but when we do, we
are comfortable with each other. More people may be in this
position. Too often, the good someone has done is totally
forgotten or destroyed by back-biting, hatred and greed. This
is the case even among Christians. The Lord can turn any
situation around and use it for the good while bringing glory
to Himself at the same time. That is my "Joseph Prayer",
which I use often and the Lord always answers.

A couple whom we were friends with went through a similar
scenario. However, the wife's attitude was to make her life
interesting and ignore his behavior. He eventually realized
that his lifestyle was not productive, changed his ways and
their relationship came back together. 20 years later, they
are still together.

Another thing the Lord showed me at that time was to see
people the way  He wants us to see them. This helped
enormously with my situation and has helped others. It doesn't
just apply to just marriage, friendships and work situations;
it applies anywhere.

Does attitude count? I believe it does even if it is to make
our lives happier in difficult circumstances. Would my
situation end differently if my attitude had been different?
We can never know but it certainly makes a difference in our
happiness. It makes it easier to be less judgmental and more
compassionate  when we realize that our  behavior  is is not
hidden from God. In fact, the hidden flaws are the most
dangerous because they are a weakness that we don't know about
or won't admit to. They will slowly erode any relationship we
enter into.

Afterwards, I hid behind a wall and was afraid to commit to
another person; I didn't want to get hurt again. Lately, I
recognized it through the caring Christian men the Lord has
brought across my path. I have a heart for older singles and
part of my ministry is to help them in the struggles they face
accepting loneliness that has been thrust upon them.

I thank the Lord for what He showed me. I was able to accept
it as truth and act on it. Am I a saint? As a Christian, I
may be a Saint but as a person, definitely not. However, I am
learning to assess things more through the eyes of the Lord
when I take time to seek Him.

My marriage broke up through no fault of my own until the Lord
showed me how He saw me.

Here is a song I wrote during a bad patch last year. It
promises hope in our bad times.

 By  Maureen Durham  , Thank you , for this letter . I am sure this what we need to hear .  I hope you don't mind but  I wrote a song about this . I felt your pain .

 

 
Broken Glass Of Shattered Dreams

Chorus: Broken glass of shattered dreams,
All is lost, it would seem
But I have Jesus here with me
Giving me a new dream     (Repeat last time)

God hadn't promised my longed for things
So my ways did not go well
But He allowed me my direction
Then He caught me as I fell.

In small pieces my heart was broken.
All the pain destroyed my dreams,
I'd placed my hope in yearned for things,
But now they're gone so it seems.

Though still surrounded by shattered dreams
I'm no longer broken down.
I know that my Lord's right here with me
Shattered dreams will be my crown.

God's ways are not mine but this I see
He has plans to help me grow
I can trust Him because He loves me
So where He leads I will go.

Go on, broken creature, blessed by a love that no human
partner can give and more beautiful because of the unique
character God has formed from the broken pieces. Each crack
tells a story - the story of your life.

Jan Bagwell 

God Bless !

Remember, Read My Heart

My Child, when sorrow covers you,
when every hope departs,
though faith may seem to be afar,
remember, read My Heart.

When you feel lost and all alone,
and suffer fear’s dread darts,
temptation will say I have gone,
but you can read My Heart.

For in your time of deepest need
you must this promise hold.
I love you more than words can say
more than can e’er be told.

I carry you within my breast.
Each hurt you bear, I feel.
And though all else may turn to dust,
My care for you is real.

So weather faithfully the storms
that tear and dash apart
each remnant of your earthly life.
Remember, read My Heart.

Fret not to understand the why
of losses you must bear.
For there will come a Time, you’ll see,
when I make all things fair.

Now rest your head upon my arm,
and we will bear the pain.
Though dark the night and steep the way,
I with you will remain.

Don’t trust the weakness of dim sight
for I the course will chart.
And when you fear you are alone,
remember, read My Heart.

Jan  Bagwell

God Bless !

“How priceless is your unfailing love!

Bold high and low among men find refuge in

The shadow of your wings.”

The Fruit of the Spirit

Within each of us,
the Holy Spirit lives
and His awesome power
in our life's He wants to give.

But, we must feel the fire,
the burning of desire
to call upon His strength
so His might we'll acquire.

Once we have received,
this supernatural gift
our souls will belong to Him
and we'll no longer drift.

For, He'll anchor us in His love,
in all things, we'll have peace
and His unexplainable joy
in our life's will never cease.

We'll have patience for everyone,
to others we'll be kind
His gentleness and goodness
will fill our hearts and minds.

People will see that our faith,
is kind and full of justice
for our meekness will shine
as they learn to trust us.

Within each of us,
the Holy Spirit lives
and all of His fruits . . .
the Holy Spirit wants to give!

Jan Bagwell

God Bless !

Galatians 5:22-23

King James Version

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love

joy , peace , long-suffering gentleness,

goodness , faith , meekness , temperance

against such there is no law .”l

To See My Savior's Face

I looked through photo albums,
And memories flooded my heart.
Seeing many departed loved ones
Really made my teardrops start.

I looked through my Bible
And then read John fourteen.
My glad heart filled with joy
As I began to picture that scene.

Someday my God will call me
To that great Heavenly home.
Then I will see those loved ones,
And nevermore will I roam.

My greatest desire when arriving
In that glorious, beautiful place
Will be to meet my precious Savior
And to look upon His dear face.

Jan Bagwell

God  Bless !

Please be in prayer for me .

Heaven Is On My Mind

Someday I'll shed this mortal flesh
And fly away to my Heavenly home,
Leaving behind this old world,
And in sin no more will I roam.

The closer I get to that goal,
I think of Heaven more and more.
How will it be when I arrive
Upon that celestial, golden shore?

Yes, the gates are made of pearl,
And the streets are made of gold,
But also God's Word tells us
That the half has never been told.

Will my loved ones meet me there
When I arrive on that glad day,
Or will my Savior greet me first
When I arrive at my home to stay?

Will I have to wait in line
To see my dear Savior's face,
Or will I see Him just shortly
On my arrival in that place?

Am I too Heavenly minded
To be of any earthly good?
I must be about God's business
And work the way I should.

Still, I am so very anxious
To see my dear Savior's face.
I want to thank Him for His love
And for His matchless grace.

Jan Bagwell

God Bless !

I been very sick this weekend ,  pray for me !!

Undone Because of Your Son

When you told your son he’s the One
did he break down and cry?
Was he but a child, carefree and wild
when you said, “You were born to die”?

Or did you wait to tell him his fate
until he was a young man?
Stronger in mind, able to find
the courage to understand?

Was he full grown when he was shown
the millions who’d call out his name?
For whomever believes surely receives
salvation in place of their shame

When he was stripped and brutally whipped
did you have to turn away?
Did your heart break for your son’s sake
knowing the price he would pay?

What do you see inside of me
that's worth this hefty price?
How can you bear to show me care
when I killed the Holy Christ?

Tell me Lord how I can afford
a love that is given for free?
I’m forever undone because of your Son
and what He suffered for me

Jan Bagwell

God  Bless !

Big Storm
The bigger the storm in your life,
the easier it is to convert back to old survival habits.

Last man standing [ a dream you never forget ]

I sent 50 invitations to 50 different people
people who I love, friends and family
I asked them to meet me on a Friday afternoon
at my favorite park, under my favorite tree

The heading of the letter read "If things get tough
how many of you would truly be there for me?"
On the day of the meeting, 47 showed up
and already I knew I was abandoned by 3


As I glanced at my loved ones underneath the tree
I looked each and every one eye to eye
and I read the first question that I wrote on a list
"How many of you would leave me if I told you a lie?"

For a not-so-brief period there was an awkward silence
and I watched a plane as it raced across the sky
By the time that airplane had flown out of sight
9 from my group had said goodbye


I started second-guessing as I went back to my list
but I knew this was something that I had to do
I had to find out, I had to have no doubt
out of all of these people, whose love was true

I took a moment and then I read the next question
"Who would stay if I stole from you?"
I knew this one was tough, but I wasn't prepared
when 16 walked and I was down to 22


As the questions grew harder and my group got smaller
I knew right there and I knew right then
that for the right reason they were all going to leave
I didn't know who for what and I didn't know when

but I knew I'd find out as I presented more questions
to these 22 children, women and men
"If I betrayed you right now, who of you would leave?"
Just over half, and all that stood were 10


These were the ten who I could count on the most
The ten that I thought would surely never run
and as I looked out across my suddenly small circle
I saw those who truly who loved me, right from day one

I saw my mom, standing tall, holding hands with my brothers
and all of my kids, down to my youngest son
Then I noticed a man who I didn't quite know
as I reached down in my bag and pulled out a gun


I held the gun up over my head
"Bang!" "Bang!" "Bang!" I fired three in the air
then I watched the confusion run through my family
and I cried as I watched them scatter everywhere

My mom screamed for my brothers to gather up the kids
and I'll never forget each tear-filled stare
as they, too, left because we all have our limits
and all that remained was one man standing there


He didn't seem nervous and he didn't seem scared
he just reached in his bag and pulled out some bread
I screamed "Are you crazy?! Don't you see this gun?"
Then I aimed the barrel straight at his head

I was full of anger that this stranger was the last man standing
when everyone else had already fled
and just at that moment I viewed my entire life
inside a single teardrop that he shed


I didn't know who he was or how he got invited
so I yelled "Who are you, and why didn't you leave me, too?"
and he just stood there in the park as it started getting dark
and the words that I screamed it seemed weren't getting through

Then he slowly put away his bread and he opened up his arms
and I walked up to this man that I didn't think I knew
He said "I am your Father, your Savior, your Lord
and this love is unconditional, this love I have for you."


He put his arm around my shoulder and offered me these words
"There is nothing you can do, my son, that would make me walk away
and out of all the times you've left me, I've always kept you close
because my love is absolute, it knows no other way

My love serves two purposes, it exists for two reasons
to love you, of course, and to save you today
Now sit with me, Michael, just for a moment..."
and he bowed his head and he began to pray


I knew right then, as my anger disappeared
that this man lost in prayer, lost in concentration
was more than a man who didn't leave me this day
he was a man of truth, a man of true dedication

and I knew he'd never leave, as he whispered his prayers
"...trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation...."
He was the only one that stayed, the only one that prayed
He was my light, my life...my true salvation

Jan Bagwell

God Bless !

Please remember Betty in Prayer

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