Am I Really
Pure As Snow?
"My marriage
broke up through no fault of my own."
I was very interested in this statement.
Twenty years ago, my marriage broke up after my husband had
several affairs. I prayed nightly for nothing and no-one to
come between us. After my husband left, he said he knew he
would have to be the one to go because I was committed
regardless. Actually it was the fear of failure and
loneliness that kept me bound as a martyr. It hurt my pride
that someone else could make him happier than I could.
After the breakup, I committed my life to the Lord in a deeper
way. I was praying (probably complaining to the Lord) about
my husband's infidelity. The Lord told me, lovingly but
firmly, that my mistrust and jealousy (He named several other
negative characteristics of mine) were as much sin to Him as
my husband's infidelity. "Sin is sin!" He said. It made it
very easy to forgive my husband after I examined my
contribution to the situation.
A friend recently said that she had never heard me say
anything negative about my ex-husband. I'm glad because we
had good times as well as bad times. When he left, I lost my
best friend. We seldom contact each other but when we do, we
are comfortable with each other. More people may be in this
position. Too often, the good someone has done is totally
forgotten or destroyed by back-biting, hatred and greed. This
is the case even among Christians. The Lord can turn any
situation around and use it for the good while bringing glory
to Himself at the same time. That is my "Joseph Prayer",
which I use often and the Lord always answers.
A couple whom we were friends with went through a similar
scenario. However, the wife's attitude was to make her life
interesting and ignore his behavior. He eventually realized
that his lifestyle was not productive, changed his ways and
their relationship came back together. 20 years later, they
are still together.
Another thing the Lord showed me at that time was to see
people the way He wants us to see them. This helped
enormously with my situation and has helped others. It doesn't
just apply to just marriage, friendships and work situations;
it applies anywhere.
Does attitude count? I believe it does even if it is to make
our lives happier in difficult circumstances. Would my
situation end differently if my attitude had been different?
We can never know but it certainly makes a difference in our
happiness. It makes it easier to be less judgmental and more
compassionate when we realize that our behavior is is not
hidden from God. In fact, the hidden flaws are the most
dangerous because they are a weakness that we don't know about
or won't admit to. They will slowly erode any relationship we
enter into.
Afterwards, I hid behind a wall and was afraid to commit to
another person; I didn't want to get hurt again. Lately, I
recognized it through the caring Christian men the Lord has
brought across my path. I have a heart for older singles and
part of my ministry is to help them in the struggles they face
accepting loneliness that has been thrust upon them.
I thank the Lord for what He showed me. I was able to accept
it as truth and act on it. Am I a saint? As a Christian, I
may be a Saint but as a person, definitely not. However, I am
learning to assess things more through the eyes of the Lord
when I take time to seek Him.
My marriage broke up through no fault of my own until the Lord
showed me how He saw me.
Here is a song I wrote during a bad patch last year. It
promises hope in our bad times.
I was very interested in this statement.
Twenty years ago, my marriage broke up after my husband had
several affairs. I prayed nightly for nothing and no-one to
come between us. After my husband left, he said he knew he
would have to be the one to go because I was committed
regardless. Actually it was the fear of failure and
loneliness that kept me bound as a martyr. It hurt my pride
that someone else could make him happier than I could.
After the breakup, I committed my life to the Lord in a deeper
way. I was praying (probably complaining to the Lord) about
my husband's infidelity. The Lord told me, lovingly but
firmly, that my mistrust and jealousy (He named several other
negative characteristics of mine) were as much sin to Him as
my husband's infidelity. "Sin is sin!" He said. It made it
very easy to forgive my husband after I examined my
contribution to the situation.
A friend recently said that she had never heard me say
anything negative about my ex-husband. I'm glad because we
had good times as well as bad times. When he left, I lost my
best friend. We seldom contact each other but when we do, we
are comfortable with each other. More people may be in this
position. Too often, the good someone has done is totally
forgotten or destroyed by back-biting, hatred and greed. This
is the case even among Christians. The Lord can turn any
situation around and use it for the good while bringing glory
to Himself at the same time. That is my "Joseph Prayer",
which I use often and the Lord always answers.
A couple whom we were friends with went through a similar
scenario. However, the wife's attitude was to make her life
interesting and ignore his behavior. He eventually realized
that his lifestyle was not productive, changed his ways and
their relationship came back together. 20 years later, they
are still together.
Another thing the Lord showed me at that time was to see
people the way He wants us to see them. This helped
enormously with my situation and has helped others. It doesn't
just apply to just marriage, friendships and work situations;
it applies anywhere.
Does attitude count? I believe it does even if it is to make
our lives happier in difficult circumstances. Would my
situation end differently if my attitude had been different?
We can never know but it certainly makes a difference in our
happiness. It makes it easier to be less judgmental and more
compassionate when we realize that our behavior is is not
hidden from God. In fact, the hidden flaws are the most
dangerous because they are a weakness that we don't know about
or won't admit to. They will slowly erode any relationship we
enter into.
Afterwards, I hid behind a wall and was afraid to commit to
another person; I didn't want to get hurt again. Lately, I
recognized it through the caring Christian men the Lord has
brought across my path. I have a heart for older singles and
part of my ministry is to help them in the struggles they face
accepting loneliness that has been thrust upon them.
I thank the Lord for what He showed me. I was able to accept
it as truth and act on it. Am I a saint? As a Christian, I
may be a Saint but as a person, definitely not. However, I am
learning to assess things more through the eyes of the Lord
when I take time to seek Him.
My marriage broke up through no fault of my own until the Lord
showed me how He saw me.
Here is a song I wrote during a bad patch last year. It
promises hope in our bad times.
By Maureen Durham , Thank you , for this letter . I am sure this what we need to hear . I hope you don't mind but I wrote a song about this . I felt your pain .
Broken Glass Of Shattered Dreams
Chorus: Broken glass of shattered dreams,
All is lost, it would seem
But I have Jesus here with me
Giving me a new dream (Repeat last time)
God hadn't promised my longed for things
So my ways did not go well
But He allowed me my direction
Then He caught me as I fell.
In small pieces my heart was broken.
All the pain destroyed my dreams,
I'd placed my hope in yearned for things,
But now they're gone so it seems.
Though still surrounded by shattered dreams
I'm no longer broken down.
I know that my Lord's right here with me
Shattered dreams will be my crown.
God's ways are not mine but this I see
He has plans to help me grow
I can trust Him because He loves me
So where He leads I will go.
Go on, broken creature, blessed by a love that no human
partner can give and more beautiful because of the unique
character God has formed from the broken pieces. Each crack
tells a story - the story of your life.
Jan Bagwell
God Bless !
