" Excuses"

“Excuses “
In the summertime it too hot ,
In the winter it’s too cold;
In the Spring and Fall when the weather’s nice
There’s some place to go –
Either to the mountains or to the beach ,
Or stay at home and hope that
some of the relatives will drop in .

A headache every Sunday morn ,
And a backache Sunday night ;
But by the time on Monday
You’re feeling quite all right ,
But maybe some of the children had a cold-
Pneumonia , you suppose –
So all the family had to stay at home –
And blow the poor child’s nose !

On Sunday morn the battery’s weak ,
And the old car just won’t run ,
But pleasure riding Sunday afternoon is oh so much fun .
Then you get back home Sunday evening
Too tired to come to church –
But you push the old car off
early Monday morning
in time to get to work .

The preacher is too young ,
Or some say he’s too old –
His sermons are not plain enough ,
Or either they’re too bold ,
His voice is too quiet like ,
Or else he’s too loud ;
He needs to have more dignity ,
Or else he’s too proud .

His sermons are too long;
Or some say they’re too short –
He ought to gently wave his hand ,
Instead of stomp and snort .
And you’d think that the preacher
Must be a very stuck up man
For you heard some woman say ,
“He didn’t even shake my hand .“

The church seats are uncomfortable ,
And the choir sings too loud –
Besides ,you get so nervous
When you get in a big crowd ,
The doctor’s told you , you must take care ,
For big crowds set you back ,
But of course you go to the ball game ,
You claim it helps you relax .
Jan Bagwell
God Bless !!